New Fears and Beginnings

Most of the blogs that I've written have been about adventures. I've taken adventures to discover new places, and conquered fears. I still remember my first day as an intern, with the butterflies floating around my belly. I was terrified, but I took that deep breath and everything turned out fine.

After graduating I jumped right into my next challenge, NaNoWiMo month. For those that have no clue what that means, November is national novel writing month. You challenge yourself to write 50,000 words in a month. For the most part, I've taken to that challenge well. Apparently I have a lot to say.

I've also watched one of my best friends get married and had a big interview. I sat there watching her dance with her new husband, and wishing that maybe someday fate, or whatever it is will give me another chance to get it right.

Well the interview turned out well. The editor took me to lunch, and made sure to introduce me to superintendents of two of the local high schools. Make no mistake, I drilled all of those guys with questions, after all how many times have I been told "You ask too many questions."

He says I've got talent. Since his paper has won something like 55 awards, including the defense of the "Best Defense of the First Amendment" award from the Society of Professional Journalists, he might know talent when he sees it.

Today we had a short phone call. He expressed concern that I could make it financially on the wages, as the same time telling me that I'm talented and they'd love to have me. My uncle, the one whose advice I always take? He says "You can't climb up the ladder if you refuse to climb the first rung."

So why am I having problems catching my breath? Why does it feel like someone is pounding on my chest?

 This job is a huge paycut. It's enough of a paycut that I am aware that I would become one of "those people" who have to use the system for assistance to feed two teenagers. For the record, I know a few woman who are single mothers and work, that have to be "those" people to survive. They're doing what they need to do, and I will too.  It's just a little kick to the pride is all. I've never been drowning in money, but my paycheck to paycheck will get a little tighter.

It means moving my kids to a new school, somewhere where they don't know anyone. I'm not just starting over, I'm forcing them to too. This is my dream, but a part of me wonders if I gave up the right to dream when I had kids?

It means moving, four hours away from my best friends. I've built a tight support circle. Right now I know that if I want a roadtrip, or a cup of coffee, or even just someone to go clubbing with, or watch a new movie with, to watch a football game with, I can call my best friends and say "Let's go."

If I'm four hours away who will I call for those things? Will I make new friends and build those tight bonds that I've managed to build here? My family, their hearts are going to break. What's going to happen when I'm not a short distance away when I'm needed to help with Christmas dinner, or plan baby showers?

It means leaving behind a job I've been at for ten years. I won't miss the job or the politics, but there are people I'll miss. In ten years I've made friends.I've spent more time with my co-workers than I have family.  These people have laughed with me on good days, and listened to me rant on bad. They've created crazy nicknames for me, and been smiling faces that got me through when I wanted to rip out my hair. They've pulled crazy memorable pranks like wrapping me in bubble wrap, or putting my hoodie so high on a pole I couldn't reach it.

I know that there are many of those people I will never see again. I've lived away from "home" before, and when you make it back your days and nights are filled with demands of other people to spend time with you. 

There's a tiny part of me that wonders, what if talent isn't enough? What if I struggle with deadlines, or the pressure is too much?  What if the financial struggle weighs down my creativity, or if the kids hate the new school?

Even as I'm writing this, I'm sitting here looking around my home and overwhelmed at the idea of packing and unpacking. I'm overwhelmed at the idea of trying to find a new home four hours away. My pictures will be taken down and wrapped away, my dishes and nicknacks will have to find new homes and shelves.

I'm terrified, and thrilled. I'm happy while my heart breaks. I'm fearful but excited. I don't remember ever having this contrast of emotions raging inside of me.

When I started out 2013, I had a series of goals, finding a new job was my final goal before 2014. I just didn't realize how heavy that goal would weigh.

adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: The rest of my life

adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: The rest of my life: I finally made it. I finally graduated. Every day since I graduated I've spent time sending out resumes. I'm ready to chase my dream...

The rest of my life

I finally made it. I finally graduated. Every day since I graduated I've spent time sending out resumes. I'm ready to chase my dreams.  I even had an interview and got invited for a second interview.

So yes, I'm nervous, scared and terrified, but I'm also exhilarated. I'm ready for my life to start. The real life that I've been promising myself will be mine. I've worked hard to get here, and I know I'll keep working hard to make it.

My next interview is a week away. I have a lot of thinking to do. I know a lot of details about the job. I know that it pays less than my current "real job." I know that it's three hours away from where I live now. That means a lot of changes. It means my sophomore and junior would have to change schools.   I also know that it means I'd actually get to write, and that there's room for growth.

People that know me know how much my family means to me. They know that my friends hold a big part in my life. I'm trying to make a choice before I get to the spot where I'm offered this job and have to make a decision. I'm basing this on the fact that I was invited down to "meet the staff, and get shown around a little."

"What means more to you, your family or your dreams?" A friend asked me when I told them.

Ouch, I always knew it would come down to that. Am I selfish for wanting to build a life that makes me happy? If I want to make it to the top, I have to climb from the bottom.

The contradictory advice from my family doesn't help either. My uncle, the one I always take career advice from says "Without the first job, you can't move up. Besides, that's a nice little town. " My aunt who has my heart says "You'll be so far away. What if I need you."

I wanted to ask, when have I never not needed you,  See, now I know that if I need a day of shopping or someone to calm my nerves, or even just a drink, I can call one of several people and have a day adventure.  This new thing, would be the unknown. It's scary, but haven't I already conquered several fears?

The questions that root in my mind are things like, "Will my boys resent me, or will they adapt easily? How much family stuff am I going to miss out on by being so far away? What if I don't make friends as easily as I have here? What if I get there and love it? What if taking this job will give me experience and time to pursue my Masters?"

Plus, I'm 35, what if this is my last chance to prove I can do this?

I took the writing challenge for the month of November. I'm supposed to pump out
10,000 words a day. I did that because I knew I had graduated, and thought maybe now I could focus on that novel I've always wanted to write. Instead this is distracting me.

By the time I post next, I'll have made a choice. I'll have made a decision. I'll have decided what's more important, chasing my dreams, or making everyone around me happy except me.

adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: What is normal life?

adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: What is normal life?: Every day on the way home from work, I watch a couple walk down the road hand in hand. I imagine various reasons for their daily walk, that ...

What is normal life?

Every day on the way home from work, I watch a couple walk down the road hand in hand. I imagine various reasons for their daily walk, that they've just gotten home from work and this is their every day routine to keep connected to each other. I imagine that they have kids, that are becoming teenagers and don't need them as much as they once did. I imagine them sharing with each other their thoughts, and commenting on the cars and passing countryside.

It's been creeping up on me lately. There are couples everywhere. Most of my friends are married, or soon to be. Even the ones that aren't have prospects and go on dates, or have someone to curl up with on a Friday evening.

On a recent Saturday night, that I sat at home alone reading, it dawned on me. I'm incredibly lonely. I don't have anyone to ask me how my day was, or to send me a text that says thinking of you. I don't have anyone that I can curl up with beside while I watch a horror movie.

Of course, my teenagers as I walk into the house and kick off my shoes always say "So mom, how was your day?" It's not the same, and I moderate my answers. Even simple things like cooking dinner together, are things that I notice other couples doing.

"Why are you single?" "You'll find the right one when the times right." "Your soulmate just isn't in small town Ohio, that's all." "You can be in a relationship and still be lonely." These are all things I've heard from people, and yet can't help but notice that the ones that say these things, have someone to help with the housework, or bills, or kids, or just sit there quietly at the end of the day.

"Why are you so grumpy lately? Smile.", I'm trying. See there's the loneliness, but there's also this added factor. Earlier this year I felt like my world was so big, so large. The possibilities were endless, I went abroad, and saw beautiful things. I served an internship doing something I loved. Now I'm back to a "meh" type of life. I work, I go to school, I take care of kids. I work extra because I have bills to pay, I study hard because it's my last semester. I take care of my kids, because they won't be around much longer.

I can only ignore the mother who only contacts me when she has bad news for so long. Her texts (yes, she delivers this news in texts because I'm ignoring her calls) often come at the most opportune times. At work, as I'm walking to lunch, when my co-workers have gotten me to smile for the first time all morning. She never asks how my day is, or why my posts are so gloomy lately. Honestly, even if she did, I wouldn't tell her. We don't have the type of relationship to talk about that stuff. (Actually, I don't have that type of relationship with anyone in my family, even my siblings, and often wished I did)  All of the news she delivers, I know. I read about my cousins cancer on Facebook, I talk to  my other cousin regularly because I miss him so much, and he tends to keep me informed. . My grandpa keeps things closer to his chest, but I've already told him that at his age, his choices are his own and I will support him every step of the way.

At work, I'm unfulfilled. Of course I appreciate having a job so that I can pay my bills, but I don't want to be there forever.  As I inch creepingly slow to graduation (two months- two months) My mind whirls with what I can be. And then doubt creeps in, will I be able to be a writer? Am I good enough, talented enough, smart enough, tough enough? Will my kids hate me if I find a job across the country and rip them away from familiarity? Who will hire a rookie, fresh from college with only a couple of articles to show for her name? (My uncle says life is about networking, I keep asking if he's networked me any editors yet?)

Even at work, I am forced to realize often that I've somehow never grown out of the social awkwardness of the teenage years. The nitpicking and teasing sometimes bothers me. All too often I plaster a smile on my face and joke that they're giving me a complex. Yet in the moments I'm alone, I look in the mirror and realize, I indeed did spill something on myself, my hair is a wreck, and of course I'm not wearing makeup. I forgot to wake up and attempt to be a "real girl." Or, I guess maybe it was early when I woke up for work, and I felt my coffee and making sure I got there on time was more important.

It's all of these things and so much more. It's the bills that I'm struggling with because I'm by myself. It's the moments when I speak and am told 15 times that I need to speak up because I talk too softly, only to yell and be told I'm always loud. It's the spilled crock pot on the seat and floor of my car, when I worked so hard on a dish and was impressed with myself for getting it done, while cleaning house and doing schoolwork.  It's the trip and fall because of a loose step that I have no idea how to repair. It's the desire to be like Hemingway, and realizing that even as a writer he was married multiple times. It's wanting to tell the world about a sweet special little girl, and starting the story only to realize, everyone is talking over me.

It's sending Justin back to college, and realizing that I was right when I told him he had to do it himself, but realizing how much my kids have lost out on because they've only had me.

I've tried to talk to people, to get things off my chest. When I do that I only feel like I'm whining about how bad my life is, and that's not really the case. I feel like I'm alone in a cave, when I speak my own voice echos  back to me, and it sounds forlorn. So I came to the one place that I know I can be heard, the one place that gets it. I came to the blank page.

To The Top

It was a bittersweet week, going to Cincinnati knowing this would be my last week at Cincinnati Magazine. I didn't plan for any big adventures, because I finally realized something. Cincinnati was the adventure. I've spent the last two months exploring new places and new things. I've experienced the city.

Even though I never got to go a museum because of the hours, I still visited numerous parks, and restaurants that are Cincinnati favorites. The staff at the magazine was amazing. They were patient when I had questions, and I got the opportunity to learn about how magazines are created. I also got to see my name in print. I know that the smell of ink is one that will forever bring me joy.

On my last day, I had quite the tearjerker moment when I walked in and found a card laying on my seat. Shelly and Kristen and I finally went to the top of Carew Towers. After 45 floors, you have to take a much smaller elevator that is created only for four people. We went to the observation deck, paid our two dollars and walked out. Afterwards, we walked down to Skyline and I allowed myself one last small three-way, before I start back to eating healthy and working out all the time.

From the top of the tower, we could look down and see Fountain Square, the river, and even Union Terminal. A lesson that I learned, if you want to see the city, really see the city, start from the tallest structure.

Afterwards, we hugged and said our good-byes and exchanged information so we can keep in touch. The publishing world isn't very big and I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again.

So, I hope you've enjoyed my adventures. I will take the rest of summer to spend with my kids, and family and friends that I have neglected during this time. Don't think my adventures are over. There's already talk about a day at Toledo Botanical Gardens, and plans to maybe go to the Chicago Jazzfest. The world is huge, and there are so many things to see, and experience.

I'm ready for that next adventure.

Off the Beaten Path

I'm sure most people are expecting pictures of a certain adventure, a place I said I'd visit this week. I would have gone to Union Terminal, but I got completely distracted by something I didn't even know existed in Ohio. I found a real castle about 20 minutes north of Cincinnati.

I don't really remember how I found it, but when I knew I had to see it. Chateau Laroche, otherwise known as Loveland Castle is a historical castle that sits in Loveland, Ohio. This medieval
castle was built by hand by a man of the name of Harry D. Andrews. Legend says that Harry used to bring his friends, Boy Scout Troops  and Sunday school students to the banks of the Little Miami River. He must have decided this was the perfect spot to built his European castle.

Work was started in 1929, and he spent his whole life until 1981 working on the project. He willed the castle to his Boy Scout troop, The Knights of the Golden Trail. Today, admission is a cheap three bucks. Admittedly, it doesn't take long to walk through. Some of the rooms are closed off, as is the top terrace of the castle. It's worth a trip though, just to say you got to see a real castle. If you stand quietly enough, you can imagine why it's rumored to be haunted.

The office was quiet Tuesday, well quiet for the interns. With Cincinnati Wedding shipping next week, there was a lot of last minute editing for the editors, but not a lot of fact checking or research to be done. The best part of Tuesday, Sue asked if I wanted to see what my personnel essay will look like when it runs.

I didn't know whether to jump up and down or cry as I read my story, there on that glossy page. Admittedly, it's a short piece, but it's mine. Someone will read that, and maybe make the decision to go to college. It's proof that I'm starting to arrive, and headed in the right direction.

Wednesday started off quietly enough. I browsed magazines looking for things that are currently trending, and that could be used in Cincinnati. I also got to work in InDesign, for a few quick moments, thanks to Kara. I admitted to her that I'm terrified of the design programs, but have plans to conquer it.

At lunch, Shelly and I walked quickly, making attempts to avoid Fountain Square, where I'm pretty sure I heard an evangelist on the microphone, and an anti-abortion rally seemed to be going on.  There were pictures of fetuses set up. I try to keep politics off here, but I'm firm believer that a woman has the right to choose what happens to her body.

On the way back from lunch however; I couldn't avoid Fountain Square. See, several years ago on a night where I was the designated driver, one of my friends (whose name I have promised to never publicly out until he has grandkids) drunkenly stripped, and ran across the street to climb and hump Big Boy. There getting ready to leave Fountain Square, stood Big Boy! I knew I had to get my picture with him, to send to my mischievous friend. "I'm cracking up laughing." came the reply.

Thanks to all the storms, I received a text from my boys letting me know the power was out. Being three hours away, I wasn't quite sure what they wanted me to do. I called to make sure they were okay, and reassured them I'd put in a call to the power company to find out how long the outage would last.

Little did I know, those storms were about to affect me too. Interstate 75 north was closed, due to high water, as I looked around I realized I-71 was at a complete standstill.

"Hi, my favorite human navigator system!" I said a little too brightly, as I called Grandpa to explain my precarious position.
"I think you're in trouble." He replied, and when Grandpa can't figure it out, well, there isn't much that can be done.

A few minutes later when Grandpa called me, with his map in hand to help me find a route, I had already established a route out of the city that led directly to route 4. I guess I've got some of Grandpa in me after all.

So there were no fountains this week, but I think the castle more than makes up for that. There are only a couple more weeks of Cincinnati adventures. I'm looking forward to each one.

Crossing borders

I finally crossed the bridge into Covington, KY this weekend, with my purpose in mind. Reading wedding stories and seeing wedding pictures for the last few weeks, I have noticed a stunning building, and even had my editor correct me on the name once.

My destination was Saint Mary's Basilica of the Assumption. As anyone that knows me is aware, I'm fascinated by old buildings, old gothic architecture captures my attention every time. Standing outside, I gazed up at this wonderous building and quickly noted the gargoyles sitting atop the Cathedral.

Before I went inside, I walked through an old iron wrought gate, into the path of a garden lined with statues and fountains. It's very peaceful and quiet back there. Finally it was time to go in. I was greeted at the door by a very sweet elder lady that asked if I had any questions and pointed me to the brochures.

The view inside was breathtaking. The air smelled of incense and it is important to remember that there are people praying and taking mass. I sat in a pew and gazed all around me at the 82 stained glass windows. These windows were why I had earlier been corrected on the churches name. St. Mary's boast one of the largest stain glass windows in the world.

Surrounding on the walls are mosaic tiles showing scenes from the life of Jesus. I always finIt boasts a gold-plated tabernacle, and was created in Ghent in 1913 as a gift to a former Bishop from the people of d peace in those old churches, there's a serenity to be had in the quietness, and the traditions. The one Chapel that tourists are not allowed to take pictures of is the Blessed Sacrament Chapel. It boasts a gold-plated tabernacle, and was created in 1913 in Ghent as a gift to a former Bishop from the people of Belgium.

After observing others in prayer and my own quiet reflections, it was time for me to head back to the quietness of my second home. There I frustratingly and painstaking tried to grasp the concept of Graphic Design glass. It's quite the struggle, more than you'd think.

The next morning I was ecstatic to open my office e-mail and discover another writing assignment. This time it involves interviews, and doing the write up of a local fundraising event. I was really excited to get to work.

Something you might not realize about interviewing people, sometimes it's a lot of hurry up and wait. You hurry up and contact people, and have to wait for their schedules to open to have time to talk to you. By the end of the day I was finally able to get in touch with everyone, and begin writing my assignment.

Which was good, because I got to see the pagination for the Wedding magazine. I know, I should be immune to the excitement of it by now. I'm not though. It's still fascinating to me to watch these teams of people come together and compromise on ad placement, and editorial pages and content. Even as I left the office that day I was fascinated by how quickly the design team was able to post the pagination for review.

As I had flipped through wedding photos that day, I noticed a picture of a bride and groom sitting on top of a fountain statue of books. Through a quick search I was able to find out that the statue sits in front of the Cincinnati Main Library. The statue known as the book fountain, is the Amelia Valerio Weinberg Memorial Fountain, founded in 1990. Of course, I had to walk the numerous city blocks to take a picture of that beautiful statue.

The next day was fairly quiet. (Well, other than me and my headphones letting out a loud shriek when one of the other interns stopped to say hello and stood in my door way waiting for me to turn and notice she had caught me dancing) The other two interns (i'm going to name them now, Shelly and Kristen) went to lunch at Panera and then it was back to the office.

I left slightly early hoping to beat the city holiday traffic. Tomorrow is the fourth, I hear the fireworks in Cincinnati are phenomenal and I'm a little sad that I will miss them. I remember when I was little my mom used to drive to Toledo, and we would spend the fourth with my Uncle and my four crazy cousins. (Look Cannon boys, you made my blog)  Friday night is fireworks at my Aunt's house this summer, and as I haven't seen my family all summer, it sounds like a plan. The boys will be with their dad for his families fourth of July event, and I have to work at the "paying job."

Next week,  will be a crazy week I'm told. It's the week before Wedding gets sent to print. I told Kara today that I'm excited to see it laid to rest. It's been wonderful seeing what all goes into the production of it, and how many people are involved.

So, I found out that Union Terminal is opened on Mondays, wonder if that will be next weeks adventure?

A week of Reflection

So there wasn't a big adventure this week. That can mostly be chalked up to a surprise storm, in which I hydroplaned down 75 before I slowed down. After that, I decided that was my sign to just kick back for the afternoon and take a nap.With my internship being halfway over, this therefore is time for reflection.

Back at the office on Tuesday, things were fairly routine until Sue popped in and asked me to write a personal essay about my online college experience. I said of course, how could I not. I had it written and turned in by the following morning and am keeping my fingers crossed that it makes copy. When I turned it in, Sue said she loved it. It was exactly what she was looking for.

So, I'm halfway home, halfway done with my internship. I realize I've been learning a lot while I'm there. I am getting better at editing, even if I'm not quite there yet. This afternoon I popped in for a short question and answer session with our graphic designer. I asked her some of the same questions that I've asked Kara and Sue. One of my most popular questions is, "How do you find inspiration?"

The answer is "watch what is trending." Because this is an answer I've gotten from all three of my questionees, I've realized that their offices are covered with magazines, all sorts of magazines. I also realized, I'm becoming obsessed with magazines. A quick trip to the grocery store turns into me admiring a magazine, trying to figure out what it is about the cover that makes people pick it up.

I've also watched how they work together. Each one says that every issue that comes out is a team effort. The sales team can't put out a magazine with no content, but the art team, the editors, and the graphic designer can't put together a magazine with no sales team. 

When I was all done with that, I popped into Kara's office to practically beg for a chance to go on a photo shoot, any photo shoot. If I'm going to see things from the ground up, this is one thing I'd like to experience.

Of course my fellow interns and I had lunch today. We didn't visit any unusual spots and while we did go to Skyline, I opted for a salad (still counting calories). I asked them for directions on how to get to a local park, so that I can visit that sometime soon. I also convinced them that on my last day, we need to go to the top of Carew Towers.  Viewing the city sky line will be my final tribute to the city. (for the time being)

As the skies opened up and poured down rain on my three block back to my car, I realized, I've never seen the John A. Roebling bridge with the lights on. It was a breathtaking sight, even as I stood there drenched, I had to have a picture.

I have an adventure in mind next week. It involves crossing the state line into Convington, KY, to see a certain famous church that working on Wedding, I have seen and read a lot about. 

By the way, the homeless guy who stands outside Starbucks in the mornings with the sign that says "When you give to the poor, you loan to the Lord", he was missing today. Probably due to the storms, but last week I noticed, his shift ends at five when the other offices downtown close.

Are you ready to be an editor?

Luggage thrown in the trunk, I yelled up the stairs to my three sleeping boys "I love you guys." "Love you too Mom." Then it was time to be off. This week I decided to visit Ault Park, after all working on Wedding, I've read a lot about it. Remember, Google the address before you go. Those trusty navigators tell you to make a right hand turn, even though all of the Park signs clearly point for you to turn left.

Ault Park is 224 acres filled with trails, lovely gardens and pathways, spectacular overlooks and a Pavilion, that upon reading the history you find out that in 1905 the founder of the park said "Here is a million dollar view worthy of a structure of no lesser beauty than the Parthenon."  I'd have to say he is right. The large Pavilion is the host of many weddings and receptions, and from what I understand many company gatherings.One could easily imagine themselves looking down the stairs at a waiting public.

From the top of the Pavilion you can look down and see the cascading fountain, and formal gardens. The formal gardens have paths that you can walk along, and each one has a picturesque sitting area. In one garden,  I got to spy on a funny young man that whenever someone came near him he would burst into song. After admiring the kaleidescope of colors, it was time for me to search for lunch.
 
I admit to using my navigator for this, and that's how I came into Clifton. Ludlow is a busy street. It has a very small old town feel to it. There are local shops and boutiques. I chose lunch in a quaint coffee shop called "Stillwell's Coffee House." The coffee was wonderful, service excellent and my turkey on rye was delicious. The walls of the coffee house are filled with artwork done by local children. Particularly, there is a paper mache creation, with a map of Clifton. Often there is live music, and they offer WiFi.

Walking down Ludlow, it should be no surprise that I stumbled upon another bronze fountain. Right underneath it were two guys playing the drums. (Have I mentioned my love for street art and street music)

Alas, after that my adventure was over and I went back to my apartment to do school work and prepare for my work day. During my school assignments, I discovered two things. One of those things is that I finish my very last class in September, that's it, I'll have my degree. The other thing I discovered, is that I'm a little panicked about my graphic design class.

As I walked into the office the next morning, Kara brought me the art book. "Are you ready to be an editor?" "Absolutely!" I said as I started to pour through the book. (More about that in a minute) I took an opportunity that afternoon to ask Sue, (another editor) a lot of the questions I had asked Kara. The reason I asked the same questions, is because the answers are different for a monthly magazine, as compared to the special publications  (quarterly, special orders, etc) With the monthly there s more of a time crunch, and I wanted to know how the ideas are formed from month to month.

Wednesday started out a little rough. My mac and I aren't on friendly terms yet so I had to call our fix-it person. She's excellent by the way. Getting to work, I started on the list for the local wedding. I kept at that attempting to get them done, until it was time for the staff meeting.

This is the first staff meeting that all the interns have been at, so we all had to introduce ourselves. Listening in, I realized there is a lot of language I'm still learning. I'm also still learning about how the sales of magazines work. Afterwords, the other two interns invited me to lunch again.

This time we walked the three or four blocks to visit Cincinnati favorite, Skyline Chili. I'll admit it was good, it's also something I couldn't eat all the time. I've been keeping track of my calories, and I won't even tell you what it takes to work off a "small three-way," which is a dish with spaghetti, their secret recipe chili sauce and a mound of cheese. Over lunch we talked about going out on night. The girls want to take me out in Cincinnati to experience the night life. I'm a little worried about going out with two girls that are 21, but how else am I going to find my way? Besides, we're still bonding over our love of books, and the weddings we've been looking at every day.

When I got back to the office, Kara brought me the fully edited art book. So here's the thing, maybe I'm not ready to be an editor, yet. Editing is about more than just making sure the words are spelled correctly and all the commas are in place (serial commas, serial commas) There is a lot about consistency. If you place a word a certain way in one part of the book, it needs to be consistent throughout. Words like "multimedia" lose the hyphen. Of course, I asked a million questions about the next steps. "How long does it take from the printer to the public? How does it get decided how many are printed?" Yep, I've got a lot to learn.

Walking out that night, I was anxious to get home. I have some sketching to do for that graphic design class. This morning as the boys and I cleaned the house together, we talked about the fact that I do feel guilty that we're not getting a lot of family time this summer. They assured me that they understand why I'm doing what I'm doing.

I haven't decided on next weeks adventure yet. I may have to work a half day of overtime at the paying job Monday morning, so the adventure might get delayed a little. Then again, every week in Cincinnati is turning into an adventure.

Traffic, storms, and homesickness

"How many speeding tickets have you gotten so far?" My grandpa asked me when I called him Monday.

"None, Grandpa," This is how conversations with him normally go. I've always taken it for granted that my Grandpa would always be here, and that I'd always be his baby, but recent circumstances have forced me to stop taking him for granted.

There wasn't a large adventure Monday, partially because I stopped to have lunch with an old time friend and used-to-be boss. I was happy to see the "Old Buzzard," as I fondly call him.  We discussed his new grandbaby, and the upheaval and drama of the Paying Job, we also discussed all the cool things I'm learning.

I admit, that lunch with that Old Buzzard made me anxious to talk to my Grandpa. There's a similarity in the two men raised in the same generation, in the same region. The phone call to my Grandpa left me homesick to talk to my other family, and of course I had to call my Aunt.

"I just feel bad that I'm not around as much this summer." I told her, even as she said she understands, they all understand that what I'm doing is important to me. There's a little homesickness and a little loneliness too. That left me wondering, how do I make friends in the city?

Before I could answer that, I was back at the office and once again learning new things. As I learned how to "cut copy" this week, I got a few minutes to actually sit in my editors chair, and I can admit I thought "This is what power is."

When my editor gave me my first real writing assignment, I felt that surge I always get when it's time to get in front of the paper. It's a little hard to describe a place I've never been just from photos. I admit that I was tempted to call and see if I could get a quick tour, because I want my copy to show my real talent, I wanted it to be perfect. For now, pictures will have to suffice.

I questioned this week, with my limited hours whether I'll get to go on a real photo shoot, and if I'll be able to be there to see an edition of a magazine "Sent home". (Sent to the printers, I'm picking up the lingo).  I love that phrase by the way, it's so appropriate, all of the hard work that goes into every edition, knowing it's going to a printer is like sending it to it's rightful place.

My Weds was going very quickly, when one of the other interns popped her head into my office, "Hey, do you want to go to lunch with us?" I jumped at the chance. One, my stomach was rumbling and two, I haven't really talked to anyone besides the editors since I got there.

Talking to the two young ladies was nice. We went across the way for lunch, to Fountain Square. We stopped at a sandwich shop called Potbelly, and I got to see Downtown Cincinnati having lunch. The Square is filled with business people chatting, reading, and just generally taking a few minutes out of their busy lives for a quick bite. Afterwards, the ladies took me to local Cincinnati favorite, Graeter's Ice cream. My mocha chip ice cream was delicious, and the chips are huge.

As we chatted at lunch, bonding over our shared English majors, I felt a little silly confessing my actual age. "Wow, you're really dedicated." They said after I explained how my weeks are going. These girls are the age of Justin, but it gives me someone to talk to, and they've agreed to take me to another local favorite, Skyline Chili. I also got in touch with a Zumba instructor, and was able to pin down the hours for a local class. I was also able to look up a local place to go horseback riding, I'll have to give it a  try soon.  I guess maybe I've started the ball rolling on making friends.

As the big talk today was the huge storm that is supposed to be hitting several states, my editors let me leave a couple of hours early.  The drive home was only a couple hours with no rush hour traffic to deal with. Of course I came home to a list of things to do for the kids tomorrow.

So what should it be next week, horseback riding?, another park? or a contemporary art museum?

Excitements and Worries

After a disastrous weekend at the paying job, (I will call it that so that I don't get into trouble for naming it outright, when I slip and grumble about it) in which I dented something, ruining my accident free streak, I was excited to get back to Cincinnati Monday. I left early Monday armed with a plan. My first stop was to be to Ikea, since I discovered my room in the sublet has no light. Then I would hit the Cincinnati Art Museum.

Plans ended up getting changed, and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Here's the first piece of advice, the little button on your navigator that says places? There's a good chance you should just Google the address before you go, rather than trusting Navigator. While driving my way around a neighborhood that there is clearly no museum in, I did pass the Krohn Conservatory. Finally I decided that I was already right there, I might as well stop.

Parking was a little bit of a trial and I ended up parking a few blocks away. The seven dollar admission price is cheaper than what I thought it would be. (It was listed as 9 somewhere). The current exhibit is Butterflies of Morocco. Of course I instantly fell in love. As you walk through you can hear the soothing sounds of fountains, and see vibrant colors that give the area a Morrocon  feel. Before you are ushered into the butterfly conservatory, you are given what looks like a cardboard coaster and told only one rule. "Don't touch the butterflies with your hands."

When you enter, the views and sounds are breathtaking. Colorful butterflies take flight, and you can listen as little children tell their mom "Mom, a butterfly landed on your head!" You can read about the different species of butterflies and try to coax one onto your waiting cardboard. When you've had your fill of the color, before you exit you are stopped in a tiny room, and asked to turn around. If you have a purse, flap your purse too, this is just to make sure none of the beauties are trying to escape with you. From there, you can walk through the "rainforest" under glass, which offers a spectacular waterfall, and take the picturesque stone tunnel under the waterfall.

After I exited, I decided to walk to the address for the art museum. There are signs directing you, and it's only a few blocks walk. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that the Cincinnati Museum of Art, is closed on Mondays. Instead I walked through Eden Park.

Eden Park has The Cincinnati Playhouse, an outdoor theater, a beautiful and intensely hued gazebo, walking paths, a wonderful magnolia flower garden, two old architecturally-styled walking bridged, and Bettman Fountain. (again with me and the fountains) All totaled the approximately 6 mile walk around was worth the time.

It dawned on me that like most cities, not only is there a rich cultural offering, but there is also poverty. About two blocks away from Eden Park, I stopped at the gas station and was approached by someone asking for spare change.

Back At the Office

I spent the next morning, doing more research and fact checking. That afternoon Kara asked me to attend a staff meeting with her. This was that moment, I played it completely cool and said of course. I grabbed my notebook and pen, but knew if she hadn't been watching, I would have done my infamous "I'm so cool because" dance.

Watching a soft pagination (a tentative layout)  is pretty exciting, well for a rookie anyway. When you hold glossy magazine  pages in your hand you never stop to think about the team or time that it took to put them together. I can appreciate now that it takes a team of people from sales, to graphics and art, to editing to make it come together smoothly. Magazines get planned sometimes months ahead of time. Needless to say, I walked out with a page full of questions to ask. (I didn't want to interrupt the team while they were working)

Wednesday was more fact checking and researching, a few tweaks here and there. Each new thing that I learn, (like how copy gets edited, or how art gets chosen) makes me more enthusiastic for the steps I'm taking.

I have worries too, inevitably I worry about my kids. I worry about how they're doing with me three hours away, even though we're in constant contact. I worry that I may have to cut an adventure or two short and pick up some extra hours at the "paying" job,  to pay for upcoming expenses. I even worry about what path I'll take when I'm finished with this next few weeks, and how my boys will adapt to a changing path that will force them to change.

As I left the office, I stopped to listen to the Reggae band that was beginning to warm up for the evenings music at Fountain Square. I would have stayed longer, but looking down the street I noticed Moms, Dads, Husbands and wives wearing Reds t-shirts and gear, walking towards the Great American Ball Park. I realized there must be a game tonight and that meant traffic wouldn't die anytime soon.

Sometime soon I will go down late on a Monday and stay until Thursday so that I can visit the Museum of Art, and the National Underground Freedom Center that I pass every day. (both closed Mondays) Kara did encourage me to visit the Botanical Garden, and the Cincinnati Zoo. I'll let you know if I have to choose a shorter adventure next time to put in extra hours at the paying job. What do you think my next adventure should be?

View from Eden Park Walkway

Zebra striped Butterfly

Waterfall Krohn Conservatory

Gazebo Eden Park

"I'm new to Cincinnati,"I nervously explained to the girl working the parking lot booth as I fumbled with my ticket. Pulling the rest of the way into the lot, I realized I was two hours early for my first day. I had left so early in case I got lost, or ran into rush-hour traffic.

As I sat quietly, I penned a quick text to my Uncle, detailing the life lessons I've recently learned from him.
1. Fake it til you make it. (Always walk like you know exactly where you're going, even if you don't)
2. Never pack more than you can carry. (Dry cleaners exist for a reason)
3. Sometimes you have to push your way through the crowd to get anywhere.
4. Dress the part.
5. If you walk the city, rather than drive it, you will get to know the city better.
6. Make friends everywhere, you never know when a friend could become an important contact or resource. 


Little did I know I was about to put several of these lessons into play, along with a couple of added ones.

Sitting in my car, I checked my GPS quickly, to give me the direction I needed to walk in. Of course, I walked like I knew exactly where I was going. Once I spotted the Starbucks on the corner, I realized I indeed knew where I was. After a quick stop for some java, I saw my building. I didn't want to enter it this early, and of course I had time.

As I looked across the street I discovered a city square. The city square is named Fountain Square, for the obvious reasons, there's a fountain in the middle. The fountain is a large bronze statue called "The Genius of Water." Sitting there listening to the fountain, I felt the knot I had been swallowing start to dispel. I admired the building that my new office would be in, Carew Tower, a 49 story building, with French Art Deco architecture, that brags a mixture of offices, shops, and cafes.

Finally it was time to go in. As I approached the building I forced myself to breathe again. Stopping at the restroom to check my appearance again, I realized, my office is business casual, so I'm slightly overdressed, but dress the part right? Besides I want to stick out from the crowd.  I walked the stairs to the second floor where my new office would be. (I know, big let down in such a tall building that boasts views of the city) After being ushered in, Sue, the editor of Cincinnati Magazine and the person who hired me showed me around, took me to my office and showed me how to log onto the Mac. (Mac!? another new experience) Then came the first assignment.

"Do you have any fact checking experience?" she asked

I was forced to admit that my only fact checking experience was my own research for school papers. After giving me a quick lesson, she introduced me to Kara, for my first assignment (editor of Cincinnati wedding, and Custom Publishing).

My first fact checking assignment wasn't horrible. I realized right then however; that city traffic is not the bane of my existence, commas are. See the thing with commas is in AP style there is a different rule than in good ole regular English.  I really need to study these. I admit to using Google for simple questions such as, "how do you copy and paste on a Mac?" Remember that fake it til you make it lesson?

The first week went pretty much like that. I did fact checking. It might not seem interesting right off-hand, but I also know that learning from the ground up is important.I asked a ton of questions about how certain feature decisions happen. Through that conversation, I found out not only do I have something in common with my editor, but she has a friend that is an editor of a travel magazine. (Stored information for when I finish that Spain story) I found out I'm the first intern that has had grown up children.  I actually managed to complete one assignment before I left the office for the week, and get ahead on a couple of others. 

 That gut-wrenched feeling I had at the beginning of the week is now gone. I know the next few months will bring challenges. Bouncing back and forth between two homes, two jobs, three kids and homework isn't going to be easy. I'm learning though, and based on the award I've seen hanging on the walls I'd say I'm learning from the best.

So here, I'm proposing that for the next few weeks I give you a glimpse into the city from the point of view of someone new. Rather than fight rush hour traffic on Wednesdays in an effort to rush back home to my boys, I plan to visit a new city spot and let traffic die down. So what would you like me to cover first?