adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: Just a little writing workshop project

adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: Just a little writing workshop project: While I don't have a big adventure to share, YET, I felt so guilty about not participating in National Novel Writing Month this year, th...

Just a little writing workshop project

While I don't have a big adventure to share, YET, I felt so guilty about not participating in National Novel Writing Month this year, that I am instead participating in a writing workshop.

The thing with workshops, is it is meant to challenge you, to give you ideas, to force you to practice a skill, as well as learn fresh and new methods.

In this post, I'm not sharing a castle, or a winery, or any sort of neat new thing I have discovered, but rather something I was inspired to write because of a writing prompt, "What can happen in one second?"

I hope you enjoy me baring my soul, and allowing myself to be truly vulnerable.

As we approach the holidays, remember that many people are missing someone that we have loved. Some of us are missing multiple people we love and have loved. Please be a little kinder, as the holidays are statistically shown to have higher rates of suicide due to depression. Reach out and tell someone you love them today.

Enough of my blather, here is my prompt.

In a second, the lives of an entire family can change. A group of people, who have held hands, and shared tears and laughter, and years, can suddenly feel an irreparable divide.

It only takes a second, for a niece to yell in one breath “Don’t shock him again,” at a nurse who is standing, holding paddles, questioning, waiting for guidance.

In one second, a man can stop breathing. A doctor can call time of death. A mother can have a tear roll down her face for a son, now lost. A daughter can hold her, staring at a now lifeless brother. A man can grab for his wife’s hand, and he begins to mourn a lifelong friend.

In one second, a woman can acknowledge the devastation on the faces of the people gathered in a room to say their final goodbye to a man who touched all their lives.

A woman can panic, as she knows her life has now changed.

In one second of blind panic, a woman can wonder “how can I be strong for these people, when I have just lost my lifeline, my strength, my guider, my protector.

It will only take a second for her to shake her head “n0!” and back out of the door, praying no one notices that she is lost, while she tries to gather herself for what she knows is to come in the next few days.

It will only take a second, for a brother to call her, and say “Where are you,” a second for him to say “we need you,” and a second for her to straighten her back and know she is needed and must be stoic.

Later, days later, after eulogies, funerals, burials, hugs, sympathy hugs, “sorries” and goodbyes, a woman can scream, in one second, “Why me?” screaming at God, as she rips off a necklace that has for years been her grounding force, the reminder of her beliefs, the thing she fingers during unsure times, and fiddles with during softly spoken words.

In one second, her talisman can be lost. In a second, she can want to give up.

It will only take a second, for a friend to wrap their arms around her, to let her borrow strength.

Later, months later, in a second, eyes can lock across a crowded bar, as two strangers share a smile. In a second, you can say a name, so that you are no longer strangers. It only takes a second, for hands to touch, and a spark to ignite.

 In one second, lips can touch softly, then grow into passion, as two people try to find release from their separate griefs. Each hoping for that second, that this person will be their savior, and allow them to finally unburden their souls.

Later, one angry word spoken in a second, will ruin that illusion, and the two will know that in each other, they will not find the deliverance, the liberation that they seek, but that rather their meeting has been two people, seeking to find comfort in someone whose demons make similar demands to their own.

It only takes a second.

Time will pass, and in a second, a woman will hit confirm on app that details a destination.

In a second, she can scream, laughing into the wind, on an abandoned rainy beach in Miami, “I’m letting go now.”

It only takes a second for her to feel a lift of the guilt she has felt so long, and begin to understand again that there is a plan.

In a second, belief can reignite in her chest, as she turns her face up to realize the last drop of rain has ran down her face, and begins to feel the warmth of the sun, caressing her cheek, making promises of better seconds to come.

In a second, she can read a question, written as a writing prompt, during a writer’s workshop, and write the first word on a leather bound journal.

In a second, a woman can reach up to touch her neck, and remember her lost talisman. Later, in a second, she can acknowledge the cool metal against her neck, reaching up to fiddle with her charm out of nervousness of an uncertain, but bright future.

In one second, a woman can choose to be brave, and allow herself to be vulnerable, by letting people see the forks she has followed along a twisted road.

Life is a series of seconds, turning into minutes, then hours, and years.  Destinations can change, and decisions are made one second at a time, leaving no time for a pause, to rationalize the next decision, the next breath, the next word. A lifetime can change in one second.

Finding Myself at Forty

Finding Myself at Forty

WHAT are you doing? Why isn’t your life on track? Why haven’t you accomplished all of the goals you had planned for your “by the next decade goals?” As I watch my peer group and friends of similar ages, get married, have families, and start new careers and businesses, I find myself floundering and pushing myself harder to define myself.

That is the constant stream of consciousness that runs through my normally placid brain. (That’s a lie. Anyone that has ever spent time with me knows there has probably never been and peaceful day in my whole mind or body. If ever I suddenly seem placid, please know that medications for ADHD, OCD and anxiety have probably finally been forced down a very unwilling throat)

So with my birthday upcoming in a few months, the unspeakable birthday, the birthday that will jump me into the next decade of my life, the thought of “What are you doing with your life,” is a constant refrain in the back of my head.

When I was 20, I thought that 40 was old. At the age of 30, I had a small freak out, thinking I needed to be married and settled and have a family. After the short-lived marriage, I decided to focus on school and the remaining years of my boys’ childhood.

I did manage to accomplish things in my 30s. I graduated college, I wrote for and continue to write for a magazine, I’ve managed to do some traveling. All three of my boys graduated high school. I started a new career, and earned a couple new certificates along the way.

I’ve had my share of tragedies in my 30s. I’ve lost people that meant the world to me, and disconnected from people who only look out for number one, or whose trustworthiness is questionable. Through all of this, I’ve grown as a person.

The friends I have made in my 30s, I know will be lifelongers. They will be people that even at 80, I will remember and share laughter with.

I have been told by several people that holding myself to a year mark, a decade mark, and questioning why I haven’t accomplished certain goals yet, is not fair to myself. It’s been repeated to me that some goals come in time. I’ve been reassured that life is complicated, and with those complications, sometimes come delays and setbacks.

My recent adventure and journey to both Vegas and Miami, both allowed me to say some much needed goodbyes. Goodbye to guilt, goodbye to constantly blaming myself, goodbye to never being sure of myself, or thinking I’m good enough. New opportunities and new doors presented themselves, but some of those left me more uncertain of what the correct life path is.

I spent time alone, exploring new places, and meeting people from all walks of life. I met a woman from Spain who said she went to Vegas for a visit, and fell in love with how much there was to do, and the cost of living.

In both Vegas and Miami, I fell in love with the diversity, the adventure, the lights, the sense that I would never have time to bored. I fell in love with the people, and the spirit.

I saw art, and nature, and beauty everywhere. 

I spent time with people who are amazing and successful, and filled with goals and ideas. Some of these people are related to me. These people are innovative, creative, and driven.

When I came home, of course I went through the post-vacation blues. Life had been so filled with adventure for a few days, and now it was time to re-evaluate and  re-commit myself to my future.

Only, what is that future? What path will lead me to be the most fulfilled, the happiest? Where is my happy place?

Right now, I have a plan A, plan B and plan C. I’m starting to set new goals, and think about where I want to be after that birthday hits.

This isn’t a post about goals. My 2017 lessons and accomplishments and 2018 goal review will be coming shortly, but not yet.

This is just a post about facing the next decade, finding myself.

So many women go into empty-nesting, dreading it. They think that the end of their offsprings childhood, will be the end of their lives. I know it is just the beginning of mine.

Entering this new decade, it will be the first decade where the only person I need to make happy, is myself. It will be the first decade where my priorities are my own, and not what is best for my family, or those around me.

But that’s okay. It’s time for it.  I may find myself at forty, but I’ll be fabulous at it. 

A New Series of Adventures

I bet you'll have been wondering, "Where is Jen?" I'm sorry for my absence, I have been pretty busy, working, living life, and trying to learn new things. That doesn't mean I have forgotten to have adventures. There have just been some new types of adventures.

Truly, my biggest adventure has been learning how to make myself a priority, how to say no and not let myself be pushed over. That's another story.

So, while I'm making myself a priority, one of the things I'm doing is taking a class. I know, I know, another certification? But, this one, will certify me to teach English, anywhere in the world. I'll leave that as food for thought, while I tell you about my latest adventure.

On a sunny Tuesday, I had reason to drive to Columbus and have lunch with my Grandpa. (For those wondering, he is as cantankerous as ever.) After lunch, (where he did give me directions to where I was going. My grandpa, the walking gps, whose directions were right by the way!!)  I decided that since I had the day off and was going to enjoy myself, I would make a drive towards Hocking Hills to see something I've been wanting to see for a long time, Ravenwood Castle, in New Plymouth.

So, the first thing I'm going to tell you, is that this castle is off the beaten track, off of 93, and you WILL lose your phone signal. So, print out the directions before you leave, or you can do what I did and stop at the tiny post office in New Plymouth, to ask where the castle is. One you're close, you will start seeing signs, but you have to be ready to turn quick.

Ravenwood was built in 1994 as a bed and breakfast. So it's not historical, but it's still fun to look at. The original owner was said to have spent some time in England, and fell in love with the castles there, came back and worked with architects to design.

The castle was originally supposed to only have four bedrooms, but ended up being slightly larger and several cabins were built on the grounds. Each room features a fairy tale, legend or time period. Ravenwood also features a small Pub downstairs, and  a library, as well as a life size chess set outdoors.

While not all of the furniture is old, and some of it is replicated to look older, the dining room and several other areas do feature genuine antique furniture, as well as a knight in shining armor, or two.

The staff is friendly, and will let you walk the grounds, as long as there isn't a private event, and will also answer any questions you might have. (How do you think I got the history). There's a small gift shop also.

I thought the prices to stay were fairly reasonable, but feel free to look it up at http://www.ravenwoodcastle.com/

After the walk around Ravenwood, I thought I would stop into the local Hocking Hills winery, but ...it is closed on Tuesdays! No wine for me this trip, which also meant...no food! I didn't find any new eateries for you guys. I'm slacking and will try to do better.

One of the highlights of my day though, was seeing my jerk face bestie. She recently moved away, so I went from seeing her once every couple of weeks, to when can we schedule a drive. All the the text messages in the world don't make up for me seeing her face in person. I've been through the ringer a time or two, and emotionally, she's always been right there.


So, everyone is used to having some big epiphany from me, some advice on life experience, some sort of feelings, or some hint of things to come. For things to come, some adventures are going to be bigger than others.

The only life lesson I've got for you today, is I've learned in life that I can get through anything. See, last year at this time, I could barely leave the house due to panic attacks. This road trip for me, was a huge celebration. It was a celebration that I can make it through, that I'm tougher than I ever realized.

Without the friends I have, I wouldn't have made it through, and as much as I love to drag them along, I needed to prove to myself that I could still have those moments by myself.

Soon, I'll be entering my next decade. That decade, is going to be the decade of ME!.

Are you guys counting? There are 8 castles, how many have I seen now? More importantly, what will be my next adventure when I've seen all the ones in this state?

The road less taken sometimes has the best scenery.

Sometimes it’s strange to look back on your past year, and see how much things have grown and you have changed during that year.  These days I feel a lot more like my normal self.

For those wondering how my 2017 is going, I will tell you, I have started to have adventures, and follow my goals again, just like I promised I would. This year is indeed becoming a year of possibilities, and the year I won’t say no to any opportunity, no matter how slim the chance.

The biggest goal that I had this year, was to edit my novel and start sending it to agents. It has been a scary ride. Not many people can understand what it takes to not only complete a novel, to tear into it with a critical eye, and then send something you’ve poured your heart and soul into, to be ripped apart and criticized.

I’ve gotten my second rejection letter, I expect more, but what I tell myself, is that I am indeed in the company of greats that received multiple rejections before they ever got a yet. I think what some people don’t realize, is that if you never fail, it means you’ve never actually tried at anything.

Someone recently told me, “Some of the greatest achievements in life are built by disappointments.” That will stick with me forever.

In an effort to push myself a little out of my comfort zone, I’ve started dance classes. The classes are once a week, on Thursdays at the Findlay Art League.

For the first one, I was so nervous that I would be the only single person there, that it would be only couples. That’s not how it is at all, and I’ve met a few people that I enjoy hanging out with and enjoy dancing with, even if sometimes I completely look like I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.  I still enjoy learning.

Those adventures are both ongoing. As is the continuation of the tutoring I do, continuing work on “This Is Findlay” Magazine, and actually, starting to broaden my horizons and look at other opportunities and volunteer work.

This weekend, I had a much needed escape and adventure, thanks very much to a friend of mine, who also has an adventurous spirit. We took a few detours through and around Cleveland.

When she messaged me a month or so ago to tell me about the concert in Cleveland, filled with R&B musicians from my youth, I was excited and of course,  began my  usual planning. It was also nice to be able to spend a weekend with a friend I haven't seen for several months. 

We stopped to eat lunch at Melt Bar &Grilled in Independence. It wasn’t bad. The service was good, the sangria was strong, the way I like it, but some people don’t. So that’s definitely a preference. The sandwiches were huge, so, my recommendation, is always go with the half. I could barely finish a half sandwich, I have no clue how anyone could finish a whole one! (Of course, someone will take that as a challenge. More power to you, and if you finish it, I want pictures of you trying to leave the restaurant.)

Luckily, we got there before lunch hour, because it quickly got busy while we were there. My suggestion, don’t try to have a private conversation during any busy time. The table next to you is less than three feet away from you, and every intimate detail can be heard.

With time to kill before we could check into the hotel, Brittany and I were racking our brains for something to do that didn’t involve early day drinking. Luckily, I remembered something I had been wanting to try.

Every time I have made it anywhere near Cleveland, B. A. Sweetie Candy Company has been closed. So I was excited to finally be able to visit and all I can say is…holy Jelly Belly! I’m sure that no one would be surprised to know that I wanted to stay in that particular aisle, well that and the Pez aisle, forever.

Any type of candy your childhood self could want, can be found in those aisles, and in the words of Brittany “I’m living the dream of my 10 year old self!”

Alas, it was time to check into our hotel. The location of our hotel was mostly luck, because when I originally booked, I booked by the airport, but after some thought, I decided downtown would be better. That’s how we ended up in the Raddison, directly across from Quicken Arena, and about 12 blocks away from the concert venue.

Because of our location, we were provided with plenty of entertainment from the people entering the arena, while we proceeded to get ready for our own evening entertainment. A couple of suggestions for first timers, 1. Pay the $26 for valet parking. It’s worth it, especially on a game night. Otherwise, there is no telling where we would have ended up parking. We weren’t planning to use the car really at all over the next day, but it was still better to have an idea that it was in a secure lot.

Now, this may come as no shock to most of you, but because it was game night, it was a little hard to find a restaurant nearby for a pre-show appetizer. Luckily for me, my partner in crime also has an adventurous spirit, and was willing to walk the extra blocks through Playhouse Square, where we discovered a new treasure.

First, let me start by saying I am in love with the chandelier hanging in the square, which according to playhousesquare.org, is the largest permanent chandelier in the world.

That wasn’t the treasure that we found though. We found a restaurant, with no wait time, that had actually only been opened for two days upon the time of our visit. Puente Viejo is  the new taco and tequila bar, located at 1220 Huron Road.

While we debated on whether or not to share an appetizer, I was glad we went with yes. The chicken quesadilla appetizer, for $9.50 was enough to fill both of us up, along with our frozen strawberry margaritas of course.

The owner, Marc Price, made it a point to stop, visit our table and chat for a bit. So here’s a shoutout to Mr. Price. Thank you for the pleasant meal, and conversation. Your staff, the food, and drinks were awesome.

Maybe there’s a little bit of my Uncle Joe in me after all, with that ability to make friends wherever I go.

After the show, we were winding down, but we made it a point to stop at the Winking Lizard, the hotel right by the hotel, before we turned in for the night. All I will say is, I never realized that downtown Cleveland really dies down around 1 a.m. and I didn't manage to get my souvenir. 

Before we could head home the next morning, we had one more stop to make. 

Franklin Castle is an American Queen Anne style, with four stories. Okay, so legend has it that this is the most haunted house in Ohio, but we didn’t get to test that theory because these days the house is private property.

The house was built in 1881 by architects Cudell & Richardson, for an immigrant family. Rumor says that there were several tragedies and deaths in the house, and that there are hidden rooms and passageways that were used during Prohibition.

The gate is padlocked, so there wasn’t an opportunity to knock on the door and ask if we could see inside. I'm curious if the ballroom still exists, although any information I have managed to find, says that in 2012, the new owner was planning to turn the historic building into a three family dwelling.

Don’t think for one second I didn’t think about climbing the fence. In the end, it wouldn’t have been worth the criminal charge. But it is worth the drive by viewing.

So, even though I didn’t get to see the inside, I was still able to walk around the fence and take pictures of the outside of the castle, knocking yet another castle off my list of eight in the state of Ohio.

We came home, exhausted, but relaxed.

I know that I normally end these things with some big epiphany, and life lesson I have had through the course of my adventure. This time I’m drawing a blank. We had a good weekend. Maybe the life lesson for this week is sometimes it’s okay to just relax, and enjoy the scenery.

Next month is my birthday. That means I need to plan my next adventure and am always willing drag along a new partner in crime. 

Melt Bar & Grilled

B.A. Sweetie Candy Company

Hidden treasure in Playhouse Square, newly opened. Check it out. 

This was a $9.50 appetizer! It fed two of us!

Franklin Castle

I clean up nice. 

My Weekend partner in crime. 

adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: New year, new goals, new adventures....

adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: New year, new goals, new adventures....: Greetings readers, friends and family. Welcome to the New Year. I ended 2016 with several good friends, and lots of hugs and plenty of kis...

New year, new goals, new adventures....

Greetings readers, friends and family. Welcome to the New Year.

I ended 2016 with several good friends, and lots of hugs and plenty of kisses on the cheek, with some sent and received texts to the people I love that were not able to join me at midnight. If they couldn't be with my in body, at least they knew that in spirit, I was never far away.

I know it's very early in the year, but I just want to say, one week into 2017, and I'm off to an up and running start.

After a day with my niece painting, a busy week at work, starting some new things, including...well there's a surprise that we'll talk about in a bit.

The first thing I decided to do, before I sign up for any graphic design classes, was to start editing and revising my novel.

For those that aren't away, the novel that I so was so mysterious about, is about heroin addiction. It is told from the perspective of several loved ones who lost someone to addiction, including a daughter, and a mother, , a recovering addict, and an addict who overdosed and died.

While it's not something that I talk about often, I do believe that we let survivors and recovering addicts know that there is a wide range of emotion involved in the healing process. People like to hush it up when it happens, but maybe it's time we stop shushing people and start talking about it.

Aside from that, one of my new 2017 adventures is one that is sort of unexpected. I started a dance class.

When I saw the event on Facebook, believe me, I text several of my friends and tried to convince them to go with me, so that I didn't look like a fool going alone.

After several rejections, I decided, you know what...I'm just going to go and push myself out of my boundaries. Maybe I'll meet new people, maybe I'll make new friends, and importantly...maybe I'll have some damn fun.

You know what? I did. Enough fun that I'm actually planning to try and go back weekly. I doubt I ever get good enough for any sort of dancing with Ohio stars, or anything like that, but I will have fun.

Another new thing I did today, and I'm nervous about, but proud that I am at least making an attempt, and hopefully get approved.

I applied to be a guardian for Findlay Honor Flight, a program that takes Veterans to Washington D.C. to spend a day viewing their memorials.  I have always wanted to apply, and finally made the decision to.

There's one catch, there is a $400 donation if I get approved. So, if I'm hitting people up for donations in a couple months, you'll know why.

Really, I think it would be an honor to spend a day participating in something bigger than myself, with a veteran, and helping him or her to see the memorials that exist soley because they gave up something in their lives.

You would think that would be it, but there's actually more, I got an invite to possibly go on a Mission trip to teach English in Haiti for a month. Now, I highly doubt that will be this year, or anytime soon, those funds are a lot harder to raise. But I was honored to be asked.

The same way I was honored to be asked to be a guest blogger on another site. Which....nope..that one is a surprise.

Next month a weekend Cleveland trip, planned with one of my best friends..and while we're there, I bet I find another castle that you guys didn't know about, and one I have neither photographed or blogged about before. I'm keeping you in suspense on that one.

But, if anyone has any recommendations for off the track restaurants or bars, feel free to pass those along.

So with all of this activity in the new year, all of these new plans, there are still emotions and thoughts that I deal with.

The other day, it dawned on me that inspite of one of my best friends getting married at Christmas, a friend letting his gf move in, and several Christmas engagements and relationship changes, before I had always thought I was being left behind by life.

Now though, with all of the exciting things that I'm taking the time and chances to do, I wonder if I'm not just better off.

I mean, before I was always sorta okay just being the single girl. I've had a ton of adventures that I really enjoy and probably wouldn't have gotten to have if I had been tied down to a guy who didn't like to travel, or like my randomness.

And now that I'm officially an empty-nester, well, I won't lie, there is a large part of me that truly misses my boys, having them home, under my roof. That part of me gets especially sad on the holidays when there was no one to make homemade cinnamon rolls for this year.

The rest of me, well, I'm doing surprisingly well. Between work, volunteering for the Reading For Life program, new things coming with the magazine, a couple of exciting trips that I'm trying so hard to get planned for the year, and now, some more writing projects and a new dance class, maybe empty nesting isn't that bad.

I miss my kids, but for the first time ever, I get to be completely selfish and think about what I need and what I want to do.

For someone that turns....yeah I'm still not hitting that next decade yet, but I still have big dreams and goals.

That's all for today everyone. I hope the new year treats you well, and I hope you chase every dream you have this year.

Until next time, go chase some castles.