May Life Never Be Mundane

Has it been seven months since I've written?

I kept having people ask me if I hadn't been on any adventures lately, and I just kept saying not really, I'll get around to writing soon. I didn't realize it had really been that long. Maybe that's why I had been feeling so down, so frustrated lately.

See, I have a hard time with the mundane. What to me is mundane anyway. Some people love it. They love to come home, to the same house, at the same time. Some people eat at the same places, because they have their favorites, and want to go to the same hang-outs and grocery stores, and see the same people.

There is NOTHING wrong with that, but I find that for myself, that those routines stifle my creativity. I want to taste different foods, even if I don't like it, it is a story to tell, a memory that makes me laugh. I want to meet different people and remember how diverse of a world we live in.

I want to see rainbows of people, together in one place, and remember the human experience. I want music, and to move my feet and get lost in a rhythm.

It was both the urge, the desire, the drive for adventure, and a need to see the place where Hemingway was born, that drove me to Chicago this weekend.

When I say Hemingway, I always make the mistake of just assuming that everyone knows who he was. So Hemingway was an author, a writer. From everything I've ever read, he was a kindred spirit, who lived, and died, a lifetime before I was born.

His birth and childhood homes, are in Oak Park, Ill, about a 45 minute train ride from downtown Chicago. (I know, because we took the train, and public transportation, thank you to Brittany's stellar navigation skills. )

But, he loved to be near the water, and he suffered bouts of depression, and fought boredom with storytelling. He fought the mundane by living a life of adventure, and writing stories about the human experience. He married, which means he loved, multiple times. The ocean was his friend, along with his cubre libres.  I always imagined him to be a very passionate man, who felt often times misunderstood, and sometimes isolated from the people he loved the most. Us writers are a crazy bunch.

The cool thing, is you can visit his birth home, and for $15 a volunteer will give you a tour of the historical Queen Anne home, and regale you with stories of Ernest's childhood, and what influenced his love of writing.  (For you architecture buffs, Frank Lloyd Wright is from that area also, and his home is down the street, there just wasn't enough TIME. If you don't know who Frank Lloyd Wright is, look up him, I promise, his homes are worth it).

So maybe, I shed a tear when I walked into the home. Maybe for one moment, I was overwhelmed. The highest compliment I ever got on a paper was when I was told that sometimes, I writing in a Hemningway-esque way, and I always hope I earn those words. (Not today though, this blog is too wordy)

After the tour, we meandered into Chicago, via the train, where we explored "The Bean" in Millennial Park, Navy Pier, The Wit Rooftop bar, Union Station, and while we didn't get to explore the downtown cathedral, we did accidentally stumble into St. Peter's during mass. We were going to go up on the Skydeck, but the three hour wait deterred that.

We explored in that manic way I sometimes get when I'm excited, "I want to see it all, I want to do it all, let's do it all NOW."

I don't know what my rush is. I think it's really just that I want to see it, I want to experience it all. Thank you Brittany for not completely losing patience with me when I'm like that, and for understanding that mania.

See, when the boys were growing up and at home, there was never money, there was never time to go on these road trips. Even if I managed to sneak off, I spent time worried about what they were doing, and I felt guilty. Like, I didn't deserve those moments that my soul needs.

There were family responsibilities that needed to be made priority. I felt like everyone needed me. I never let myself consider what I needed.

It's different now, I turned 40 in March. I'm saying it more often. I turned 40. Sometimes I'm saying it because I'm trying to get it through my own head. There is a disbelief about it. There's a fear of losing my best years, of aging, and not being able to explore. There's a fear that time is running out to make my dreams come true.

There's a fear of living a life of monotony.

My 20s and 30s belonged to my children, and my family, to school, to work. My 40s, those belong to me. This is the decade to make myself happy.

I plan to be writing more. I plan to be editing more over the next couple months. I still have a novel that has some re-writes written. And I'm planning my next adventure.

Here's to dancing to my own rhythm.

Sometimes it's time to let go

I'm feeling emotional. There have been some really big changes in my life that started after 2018 began.

See, I know I said to some people "I feel some big things coming this next year. I feel some positive things are finally coming my way." And they are positive.

The first big change is that I started a new job. I mean, I didn't quit my old job. I'm still there part time. The new job is something that makes me use my brain, which is something I needed and wanted. It's definitely a job upgrade.

I love the new team I'm working with. It feels like, we really are a team, and the people training us have been so nice and patient.

I mean, I have been nervous because I am older than everyone I hired in with, some people I'm older than by a decade. It's okay though, they're good people and a good group to learn with.

The other change, is today I finally let go of that old convertible sebring, and committed to a newer car. I didn't want to, but she just kept letting me down and leaving me stranded. I hadn't been going on adventures anymore, because I was never sure from day to day if she would start, or if she would stay running.

We have had 100,000 miles worth of adventures, been to a couple different states, and seen so many different things. She went to children's graduations with me, and I can still remember hearing the kids yell "Drop the top mom." She has traveled to wineries and the beach with me, seen different castles, and let me feel a little bit of freedom with the wind through my hair when I was at some of  my lowest points. It really is like saying goodbye to an old friend.

That's okay though, I know I haven't blogged about any castles lately, even though I've found a ton that need to be explored and told about. Having a reliable car means that I can do that again.

I was scared to get a new car, for one it's the commitment, and I was afraid that commitment would mean I was tied down, tied to Ohio winters indefinitely. I don't think that's true though, and life has a habit of happening when you're making other plans.

None of this would have been possible without the friends I have in my life. They talk me down when I'm freaking out, pump me up when I'm unsure, and just give me the confidence I need to be as crazy as I am.

So, let me tell you some other positive things that will be happening in 2018. One, my book will be back from the editor next month, so I can start the re-writes on it, and work on publishing it in 2018. My goal for the next year, is to bury myself in research for the next book. The subject will be PTSD. Something else that touches close to home.

I need to sign off for now, but, look for a few blog posts to come out in the upcoming weeks. I'll be showing you guys some more off the beaten track places that you can visit for adventures. Because every princess needs to visit some castles now and then.

Just one of many sunny day selfies through the years. 

I was a princess! 

Here's to many new adventures. 

adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: Just a little writing workshop project

adventures and life lessons of a super-woman: Just a little writing workshop project: While I don't have a big adventure to share, YET, I felt so guilty about not participating in National Novel Writing Month this year, th...

Just a little writing workshop project

While I don't have a big adventure to share, YET, I felt so guilty about not participating in National Novel Writing Month this year, that I am instead participating in a writing workshop.

The thing with workshops, is it is meant to challenge you, to give you ideas, to force you to practice a skill, as well as learn fresh and new methods.

In this post, I'm not sharing a castle, or a winery, or any sort of neat new thing I have discovered, but rather something I was inspired to write because of a writing prompt, "What can happen in one second?"

I hope you enjoy me baring my soul, and allowing myself to be truly vulnerable.

As we approach the holidays, remember that many people are missing someone that we have loved. Some of us are missing multiple people we love and have loved. Please be a little kinder, as the holidays are statistically shown to have higher rates of suicide due to depression. Reach out and tell someone you love them today.

Enough of my blather, here is my prompt.

In a second, the lives of an entire family can change. A group of people, who have held hands, and shared tears and laughter, and years, can suddenly feel an irreparable divide.

It only takes a second, for a niece to yell in one breath “Don’t shock him again,” at a nurse who is standing, holding paddles, questioning, waiting for guidance.

In one second, a man can stop breathing. A doctor can call time of death. A mother can have a tear roll down her face for a son, now lost. A daughter can hold her, staring at a now lifeless brother. A man can grab for his wife’s hand, and he begins to mourn a lifelong friend.

In one second, a woman can acknowledge the devastation on the faces of the people gathered in a room to say their final goodbye to a man who touched all their lives.

A woman can panic, as she knows her life has now changed.

In one second of blind panic, a woman can wonder “how can I be strong for these people, when I have just lost my lifeline, my strength, my guider, my protector.

It will only take a second for her to shake her head “n0!” and back out of the door, praying no one notices that she is lost, while she tries to gather herself for what she knows is to come in the next few days.

It will only take a second, for a brother to call her, and say “Where are you,” a second for him to say “we need you,” and a second for her to straighten her back and know she is needed and must be stoic.

Later, days later, after eulogies, funerals, burials, hugs, sympathy hugs, “sorries” and goodbyes, a woman can scream, in one second, “Why me?” screaming at God, as she rips off a necklace that has for years been her grounding force, the reminder of her beliefs, the thing she fingers during unsure times, and fiddles with during softly spoken words.

In one second, her talisman can be lost. In a second, she can want to give up.

It will only take a second, for a friend to wrap their arms around her, to let her borrow strength.

Later, months later, in a second, eyes can lock across a crowded bar, as two strangers share a smile. In a second, you can say a name, so that you are no longer strangers. It only takes a second, for hands to touch, and a spark to ignite.

 In one second, lips can touch softly, then grow into passion, as two people try to find release from their separate griefs. Each hoping for that second, that this person will be their savior, and allow them to finally unburden their souls.

Later, one angry word spoken in a second, will ruin that illusion, and the two will know that in each other, they will not find the deliverance, the liberation that they seek, but that rather their meeting has been two people, seeking to find comfort in someone whose demons make similar demands to their own.

It only takes a second.

Time will pass, and in a second, a woman will hit confirm on app that details a destination.

In a second, she can scream, laughing into the wind, on an abandoned rainy beach in Miami, “I’m letting go now.”

It only takes a second for her to feel a lift of the guilt she has felt so long, and begin to understand again that there is a plan.

In a second, belief can reignite in her chest, as she turns her face up to realize the last drop of rain has ran down her face, and begins to feel the warmth of the sun, caressing her cheek, making promises of better seconds to come.

In a second, she can read a question, written as a writing prompt, during a writer’s workshop, and write the first word on a leather bound journal.

In a second, a woman can reach up to touch her neck, and remember her lost talisman. Later, in a second, she can acknowledge the cool metal against her neck, reaching up to fiddle with her charm out of nervousness of an uncertain, but bright future.

In one second, a woman can choose to be brave, and allow herself to be vulnerable, by letting people see the forks she has followed along a twisted road.

Life is a series of seconds, turning into minutes, then hours, and years.  Destinations can change, and decisions are made one second at a time, leaving no time for a pause, to rationalize the next decision, the next breath, the next word. A lifetime can change in one second.

Finding Myself at Forty

Finding Myself at Forty

WHAT are you doing? Why isn’t your life on track? Why haven’t you accomplished all of the goals you had planned for your “by the next decade goals?” As I watch my peer group and friends of similar ages, get married, have families, and start new careers and businesses, I find myself floundering and pushing myself harder to define myself.

That is the constant stream of consciousness that runs through my normally placid brain. (That’s a lie. Anyone that has ever spent time with me knows there has probably never been and peaceful day in my whole mind or body. If ever I suddenly seem placid, please know that medications for ADHD, OCD and anxiety have probably finally been forced down a very unwilling throat)

So with my birthday upcoming in a few months, the unspeakable birthday, the birthday that will jump me into the next decade of my life, the thought of “What are you doing with your life,” is a constant refrain in the back of my head.

When I was 20, I thought that 40 was old. At the age of 30, I had a small freak out, thinking I needed to be married and settled and have a family. After the short-lived marriage, I decided to focus on school and the remaining years of my boys’ childhood.

I did manage to accomplish things in my 30s. I graduated college, I wrote for and continue to write for a magazine, I’ve managed to do some traveling. All three of my boys graduated high school. I started a new career, and earned a couple new certificates along the way.

I’ve had my share of tragedies in my 30s. I’ve lost people that meant the world to me, and disconnected from people who only look out for number one, or whose trustworthiness is questionable. Through all of this, I’ve grown as a person.

The friends I have made in my 30s, I know will be lifelongers. They will be people that even at 80, I will remember and share laughter with.

I have been told by several people that holding myself to a year mark, a decade mark, and questioning why I haven’t accomplished certain goals yet, is not fair to myself. It’s been repeated to me that some goals come in time. I’ve been reassured that life is complicated, and with those complications, sometimes come delays and setbacks.

My recent adventure and journey to both Vegas and Miami, both allowed me to say some much needed goodbyes. Goodbye to guilt, goodbye to constantly blaming myself, goodbye to never being sure of myself, or thinking I’m good enough. New opportunities and new doors presented themselves, but some of those left me more uncertain of what the correct life path is.

I spent time alone, exploring new places, and meeting people from all walks of life. I met a woman from Spain who said she went to Vegas for a visit, and fell in love with how much there was to do, and the cost of living.

In both Vegas and Miami, I fell in love with the diversity, the adventure, the lights, the sense that I would never have time to bored. I fell in love with the people, and the spirit.

I saw art, and nature, and beauty everywhere. 

I spent time with people who are amazing and successful, and filled with goals and ideas. Some of these people are related to me. These people are innovative, creative, and driven.

When I came home, of course I went through the post-vacation blues. Life had been so filled with adventure for a few days, and now it was time to re-evaluate and  re-commit myself to my future.

Only, what is that future? What path will lead me to be the most fulfilled, the happiest? Where is my happy place?

Right now, I have a plan A, plan B and plan C. I’m starting to set new goals, and think about where I want to be after that birthday hits.

This isn’t a post about goals. My 2017 lessons and accomplishments and 2018 goal review will be coming shortly, but not yet.

This is just a post about facing the next decade, finding myself.

So many women go into empty-nesting, dreading it. They think that the end of their offsprings childhood, will be the end of their lives. I know it is just the beginning of mine.

Entering this new decade, it will be the first decade where the only person I need to make happy, is myself. It will be the first decade where my priorities are my own, and not what is best for my family, or those around me.

But that’s okay. It’s time for it.  I may find myself at forty, but I’ll be fabulous at it. 

A New Series of Adventures

I bet you'll have been wondering, "Where is Jen?" I'm sorry for my absence, I have been pretty busy, working, living life, and trying to learn new things. That doesn't mean I have forgotten to have adventures. There have just been some new types of adventures.

Truly, my biggest adventure has been learning how to make myself a priority, how to say no and not let myself be pushed over. That's another story.

So, while I'm making myself a priority, one of the things I'm doing is taking a class. I know, I know, another certification? But, this one, will certify me to teach English, anywhere in the world. I'll leave that as food for thought, while I tell you about my latest adventure.

On a sunny Tuesday, I had reason to drive to Columbus and have lunch with my Grandpa. (For those wondering, he is as cantankerous as ever.) After lunch, (where he did give me directions to where I was going. My grandpa, the walking gps, whose directions were right by the way!!)  I decided that since I had the day off and was going to enjoy myself, I would make a drive towards Hocking Hills to see something I've been wanting to see for a long time, Ravenwood Castle, in New Plymouth.

So, the first thing I'm going to tell you, is that this castle is off the beaten track, off of 93, and you WILL lose your phone signal. So, print out the directions before you leave, or you can do what I did and stop at the tiny post office in New Plymouth, to ask where the castle is. One you're close, you will start seeing signs, but you have to be ready to turn quick.

Ravenwood was built in 1994 as a bed and breakfast. So it's not historical, but it's still fun to look at. The original owner was said to have spent some time in England, and fell in love with the castles there, came back and worked with architects to design.

The castle was originally supposed to only have four bedrooms, but ended up being slightly larger and several cabins were built on the grounds. Each room features a fairy tale, legend or time period. Ravenwood also features a small Pub downstairs, and  a library, as well as a life size chess set outdoors.

While not all of the furniture is old, and some of it is replicated to look older, the dining room and several other areas do feature genuine antique furniture, as well as a knight in shining armor, or two.

The staff is friendly, and will let you walk the grounds, as long as there isn't a private event, and will also answer any questions you might have. (How do you think I got the history). There's a small gift shop also.

I thought the prices to stay were fairly reasonable, but feel free to look it up at http://www.ravenwoodcastle.com/

After the walk around Ravenwood, I thought I would stop into the local Hocking Hills winery, but ...it is closed on Tuesdays! No wine for me this trip, which also meant...no food! I didn't find any new eateries for you guys. I'm slacking and will try to do better.

One of the highlights of my day though, was seeing my jerk face bestie. She recently moved away, so I went from seeing her once every couple of weeks, to when can we schedule a drive. All the the text messages in the world don't make up for me seeing her face in person. I've been through the ringer a time or two, and emotionally, she's always been right there.


So, everyone is used to having some big epiphany from me, some advice on life experience, some sort of feelings, or some hint of things to come. For things to come, some adventures are going to be bigger than others.

The only life lesson I've got for you today, is I've learned in life that I can get through anything. See, last year at this time, I could barely leave the house due to panic attacks. This road trip for me, was a huge celebration. It was a celebration that I can make it through, that I'm tougher than I ever realized.

Without the friends I have, I wouldn't have made it through, and as much as I love to drag them along, I needed to prove to myself that I could still have those moments by myself.

Soon, I'll be entering my next decade. That decade, is going to be the decade of ME!.

Are you guys counting? There are 8 castles, how many have I seen now? More importantly, what will be my next adventure when I've seen all the ones in this state?

The road less taken sometimes has the best scenery.

Sometimes it’s strange to look back on your past year, and see how much things have grown and you have changed during that year.  These days I feel a lot more like my normal self.

For those wondering how my 2017 is going, I will tell you, I have started to have adventures, and follow my goals again, just like I promised I would. This year is indeed becoming a year of possibilities, and the year I won’t say no to any opportunity, no matter how slim the chance.

The biggest goal that I had this year, was to edit my novel and start sending it to agents. It has been a scary ride. Not many people can understand what it takes to not only complete a novel, to tear into it with a critical eye, and then send something you’ve poured your heart and soul into, to be ripped apart and criticized.

I’ve gotten my second rejection letter, I expect more, but what I tell myself, is that I am indeed in the company of greats that received multiple rejections before they ever got a yet. I think what some people don’t realize, is that if you never fail, it means you’ve never actually tried at anything.

Someone recently told me, “Some of the greatest achievements in life are built by disappointments.” That will stick with me forever.

In an effort to push myself a little out of my comfort zone, I’ve started dance classes. The classes are once a week, on Thursdays at the Findlay Art League.

For the first one, I was so nervous that I would be the only single person there, that it would be only couples. That’s not how it is at all, and I’ve met a few people that I enjoy hanging out with and enjoy dancing with, even if sometimes I completely look like I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.  I still enjoy learning.

Those adventures are both ongoing. As is the continuation of the tutoring I do, continuing work on “This Is Findlay” Magazine, and actually, starting to broaden my horizons and look at other opportunities and volunteer work.

This weekend, I had a much needed escape and adventure, thanks very much to a friend of mine, who also has an adventurous spirit. We took a few detours through and around Cleveland.

When she messaged me a month or so ago to tell me about the concert in Cleveland, filled with R&B musicians from my youth, I was excited and of course,  began my  usual planning. It was also nice to be able to spend a weekend with a friend I haven't seen for several months. 

We stopped to eat lunch at Melt Bar &Grilled in Independence. It wasn’t bad. The service was good, the sangria was strong, the way I like it, but some people don’t. So that’s definitely a preference. The sandwiches were huge, so, my recommendation, is always go with the half. I could barely finish a half sandwich, I have no clue how anyone could finish a whole one! (Of course, someone will take that as a challenge. More power to you, and if you finish it, I want pictures of you trying to leave the restaurant.)

Luckily, we got there before lunch hour, because it quickly got busy while we were there. My suggestion, don’t try to have a private conversation during any busy time. The table next to you is less than three feet away from you, and every intimate detail can be heard.

With time to kill before we could check into the hotel, Brittany and I were racking our brains for something to do that didn’t involve early day drinking. Luckily, I remembered something I had been wanting to try.

Every time I have made it anywhere near Cleveland, B. A. Sweetie Candy Company has been closed. So I was excited to finally be able to visit and all I can say is…holy Jelly Belly! I’m sure that no one would be surprised to know that I wanted to stay in that particular aisle, well that and the Pez aisle, forever.

Any type of candy your childhood self could want, can be found in those aisles, and in the words of Brittany “I’m living the dream of my 10 year old self!”

Alas, it was time to check into our hotel. The location of our hotel was mostly luck, because when I originally booked, I booked by the airport, but after some thought, I decided downtown would be better. That’s how we ended up in the Raddison, directly across from Quicken Arena, and about 12 blocks away from the concert venue.

Because of our location, we were provided with plenty of entertainment from the people entering the arena, while we proceeded to get ready for our own evening entertainment. A couple of suggestions for first timers, 1. Pay the $26 for valet parking. It’s worth it, especially on a game night. Otherwise, there is no telling where we would have ended up parking. We weren’t planning to use the car really at all over the next day, but it was still better to have an idea that it was in a secure lot.

Now, this may come as no shock to most of you, but because it was game night, it was a little hard to find a restaurant nearby for a pre-show appetizer. Luckily for me, my partner in crime also has an adventurous spirit, and was willing to walk the extra blocks through Playhouse Square, where we discovered a new treasure.

First, let me start by saying I am in love with the chandelier hanging in the square, which according to playhousesquare.org, is the largest permanent chandelier in the world.

That wasn’t the treasure that we found though. We found a restaurant, with no wait time, that had actually only been opened for two days upon the time of our visit. Puente Viejo is  the new taco and tequila bar, located at 1220 Huron Road.

While we debated on whether or not to share an appetizer, I was glad we went with yes. The chicken quesadilla appetizer, for $9.50 was enough to fill both of us up, along with our frozen strawberry margaritas of course.

The owner, Marc Price, made it a point to stop, visit our table and chat for a bit. So here’s a shoutout to Mr. Price. Thank you for the pleasant meal, and conversation. Your staff, the food, and drinks were awesome.

Maybe there’s a little bit of my Uncle Joe in me after all, with that ability to make friends wherever I go.

After the show, we were winding down, but we made it a point to stop at the Winking Lizard, the hotel right by the hotel, before we turned in for the night. All I will say is, I never realized that downtown Cleveland really dies down around 1 a.m. and I didn't manage to get my souvenir. 

Before we could head home the next morning, we had one more stop to make. 

Franklin Castle is an American Queen Anne style, with four stories. Okay, so legend has it that this is the most haunted house in Ohio, but we didn’t get to test that theory because these days the house is private property.

The house was built in 1881 by architects Cudell & Richardson, for an immigrant family. Rumor says that there were several tragedies and deaths in the house, and that there are hidden rooms and passageways that were used during Prohibition.

The gate is padlocked, so there wasn’t an opportunity to knock on the door and ask if we could see inside. I'm curious if the ballroom still exists, although any information I have managed to find, says that in 2012, the new owner was planning to turn the historic building into a three family dwelling.

Don’t think for one second I didn’t think about climbing the fence. In the end, it wouldn’t have been worth the criminal charge. But it is worth the drive by viewing.

So, even though I didn’t get to see the inside, I was still able to walk around the fence and take pictures of the outside of the castle, knocking yet another castle off my list of eight in the state of Ohio.

We came home, exhausted, but relaxed.

I know that I normally end these things with some big epiphany, and life lesson I have had through the course of my adventure. This time I’m drawing a blank. We had a good weekend. Maybe the life lesson for this week is sometimes it’s okay to just relax, and enjoy the scenery.

Next month is my birthday. That means I need to plan my next adventure and am always willing drag along a new partner in crime. 

Melt Bar & Grilled

B.A. Sweetie Candy Company

Hidden treasure in Playhouse Square, newly opened. Check it out. 

This was a $9.50 appetizer! It fed two of us!

Franklin Castle

I clean up nice. 

My Weekend partner in crime.