Fake it til you make it

Fake it 'til you make it. I know my uncle once told me that. Fake confidence until you have it, fake a smile until you feel it, fake competency until you're a competent person. Try to blend in a little while making yourself memorable to stick out in a crowd. (OK, maybe some of that is ad libbed)

That's exactly how I feel sometimes when I walk into a room totally unprepared and unknowledgable. Today was one of those days. I had an event to cover, an event about changes to farm bill law that lasted more than two hours. We'll see when it's written if I asked the right questions to fake it well.

Things I covered this week included a World War II veteran receiving the French Legion of Honor(this is a huge deal FYI), county getting a new medical director to oversee county emergency medical services, and a basilica shrine (beautiful Romanesque architecture) that is trying to raise money to add an elevator.

That second one earned me a phone call from the county EMA director to tell me he appreciated the article and it was nicely written.(Ok, so normally I give him a hard time, but this time I actually said thank you.) (Oh, and yes I do have an area behind my desk where I pin various thank yous from people I've written stories about. A girl likes to be remembered that a journalist can impact a life.)

The French Legion of Honor, or Legion d'Honneur is a really big deal for a couple of reasons. It's the highest declaration a person can receive in France. It can only be presented by a person who has already received the declaration. It's the French governments way of saying, they've never forgotten or taken for granted the events of World War II. (Monday was when I covered it and that was obviously before the tragic events in Paris this week, but that's another fifty blog pages. Why can't people actually follow those books they claim to uphold and live peacefully?)

 So, this is the fifth World War II vet I've covered in six months. Each one has been for something different. One of them was because of a chime memorial he had installed into his church as a memorial for his late wife of more than 60 years.

I can't help but love every time I talk to these old gentlemen. That generation just has something other generations are lacking. I think it's called moxie. It was a generation that understood loss, loved deeply, and understood determination. We can learn a lot from them if we listen. There aren't many left to tell us their stories.

The gentleman with the chimes? I asked him his favorite memory of his wife, and he said "I just loved them all." Ladies and gentlemen, that sorta romance may be why I'm single.(Oh yeah, that date didn't work out for those left wondering, I got stood up sorta, he apologized, but we also never rescheduled.)

Oh yeah, on New Year's Eve, I didn't kiss anyone, I stayed sober and pulled a couple silly stunts (there was no alcohol involved in any pole dancing, yes I was fully dressed, and I don't care it was funny) (I refuse to be a boring adult), and hugged my brother and some friends at midnight. My night ended at like 5 a.m. with me and my brother watching a show that of course I had to netflix to watch the rest of (that's the third time he's got me hooked on a show).

I also started to figure out what 2015 is about. I think this year is about continuing to make improvements to myself and not turning down any chances. Improvements to my body, health and mind, the trinity of improvements.

Keep exercising to stay fit (I tried spin last week, and I sorta hate it, but will still go back I'm sure.), read books by very successful people and keep continually learning to do new things (some new classes are in order for this) , those are important. I think it's also important for me to stop saying no so much (this means if I get asked on a date, I'll say yes). Stop finding reasons to keep people out, stop finding reasons something won't work, it's time for some new adventures (Florida, I'm coming for you)

Speaking of adventures,  I've been gathering information about a potentially life changing adventure. I have approximately a year to make a decision and I've talked to the important people in my life about it. Let me start with, none of them are too happy cause it would mean I'd be gone awhile. At the same time, the ones that love me most all said, "Yeah, I can see why you'd want to." A lot can change in a year. Who knows, in 6 months it might be something that's completely off the table. See, life has a funny way of changing when you think you've got it figured out.

I don't remember if I mentioned that my middle son signed up to join the Army in July? I cried when he gave me his leave date, but I know he's doing the right thing for himself. Maybe that's where some of this adventure talk keeps coming from. I've seen like fifty college applications for my youngest son. They're all learning to live their lives, so I have to learn to live mine.

This past month I've tried to make it a point to have at least a couple hours with everyone I love the most, (including my friend Matt and his fiance Dawn, who I hadn't seen in forever but was dying to congratulate them in person)  except for a few  people who I can't seem to get our schedules together.  That's my favorite thing about the holidays, I get to see most of my crazies in a matter of days.

Well, this post wasn't as horribly exciting, but one of my promises to myself was to keep this dang thing updated.

So, cheers to a new year and new adventures.

Dream, Dare, Do

The Last time I sat here typing away was a year ago as I sat and pondered if I would take the new job I had been offered.

After fears about what it would do to my kids, and whether I would be able to afford to live, I broken-heartedly turned down the job.  I was left reeling, wondering if I would ever really get out of Lowes. I just have to say in August I  finally made it.

So here, let me catch you up on the last year of my life.

The changes have been plenty this year, from the new job, to finally getting closer to one of my siblings, and seeing him married. Some things haven't changed that much as I still seem to have two homes.

The beginning of my  year doesn't have a lot to tell, other than a college son who got screwed up at one school, and got accepted to another, an attempt at online dating that gave me a horror story to tell for the ages. (I quickly abandoned any illusions online dating is a good idea) And a godmother that passed away quite suddenly.

It wasn't until summer that it got interesting.

A freelance writing job for Findlay City Guide landed right in my lap, thanks to a co-worker with the right connections. That feeling of seeing my name in print still gives me a high every time and I got to tell some of my favorite stories. My favorites are always going to be about the people who reach out to their communities, give back and just know how to live.

August never really heated up in the way of weather, my career and the rest of my crazy life did.

In August one of my uncles got sick and had to have his leg amputated. This wouldn't have been quite so much if it hadn't happened right in the middle of trying to move him closer to the family. Thirty-six hours is what I spent with no sleep, sometimes laying on the hospital floor just so that I'd be close in case he woke up and needed me. One of my best friends asked me if I needed anything, and my demand was "Please a phone charger and a shirt that doesn't have coffee stains!"

Obviously that isn't the end of that particular story because everyday is a work in progress in that situation.The house that he has now is about 45 minutes away from me, but I keep a bedroom there for when my work life slows down to give me time. He tries to do for me what he feels my dad would have done. I'm just happy he's finally home and learning how to get around even if I sometimes call him Uncle Crazy or we bicker about our different life outlooks

I wrote five stories for that magazine and right as we started to plan the winter issue, I finally got a call from a publisher in Upper Sandusky, interviewed and got the job.

Leaving Lowes was hard. Now that it's no longer my paying job I can call it what it is. The job sucked,the politics sucked but after two-months being gone, I know the friends I made there are friends I will never forget. No matter how bad I wanted out, I wish I could take the comradery of the people I spent 11 years working with.

When I watched my brother get married, it gave me the chance to get to know some of his buddies. They're filling my life with laughter and a little bit of craziness that maybe I need. 

In my first few weeks at the paper, I helped cover the county fair.  I swear I met close to 500 people. Sometimes I'm still spinning and have to stop and ask someone to remind me of what their name is. When I took the commissioners beat, one of the first things they did was take me to the top of the courthouse because of a restoration project they're doing.

Even with my fear of heights, seeing all over the county I am working in was a unique experience.So in the last two months, I've been on top of the courthouse, gone up in the bucket of a firetruck, covered a few court cases and a couple of cool buildings and one particular wood-working group that still makes me smile every time I look at the flower one of them carved that sits on my desk. 

There are days it's hard. This week there have been sad stories in the news and disagreements elsewhere. That's not what's important though. What's important is a year ago I was never sure if I'd get to this point and here I am.

So what next? Everyday seems to be an adventure for me. This year Taylor will graduate and leave me with only Zachary left at home. I'll let you in on a secret, I've never been an adult without kids.

The romance thing could still happen, even though I recently told a best friend I'm not  holding my breath.

In the meantime, I've got my friends, both old and newly formed. I've got this crazy job that is both a job and adventure.

One of those really phenomenal people I met is an old veteran who has lived an unusual life.  When I asked him what advice he has for the younger generation, he told me, "Dare, Dream, Do." That's what I'm aspiring to do.